


A Testament of a Life Well Lived

by Eggsyobsessed



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Domestic Fluff, Eggsy is A Little Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Future Fic, Love, Loving Marriage, M/M, Merlin is There To Fix It, Nostalgia, Parenthood, Reminiscing, Sunsets, lots of comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 17:12:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18855430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggsyobsessed/pseuds/Eggsyobsessed
Summary: Merlin and Eggsy just moved their last child out and are now reliving some of the most memorable moments about raising their boys.Eggsy is feeling too many things about it, and the empty nest syndrome is a true thing. Thankfully he has Merlin there to help make it better.





	A Testament of a Life Well Lived

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> For my very dear friend. Who has needed a pick me up, and of course, I am all too willing to provide.  
> It was requested to have hurt/comfort, Merlin providing the comfort, fluff, and sunsets. So, here it is, and I hope this delivers. 
> 
> To wyvernwolf, my good friend who I only wish happiness and good fortune to.  
> Love you <3

It was a nice day in June, not too warm and just the right breeze that billowed through the trees of their garden. It was quiet, too quiet. Not at all something Eggsy was accustomed to anymore.

There were no more sounds of little feet running down the halls. The one swing on the playset, that Merlin had built for them years ago, no longer squeaked with a child's body swinging from it. He supposed it would again, but that seemed so far away now.

Eggsy heard the kettle whistling from behind him, no doubt Merlin was preparing cuppas, and a part of him wanted to ask for something stronger. But he didn’t, and Eggsy knew it wouldn’t do any good to try to numb this feeling. He figured maybe he was being too dramatic about the whole thing. Still, the thought didn’t bring him comfort, nor did the emptiness he felt in his chest.

“Here,” Merin said softly, handing Eggsy a mug pulling him from his reverie.

He smiled up at the face that has been home to Eggsy for as long as he can remember. A little worn now, but Merlin was just as handsome as when they met. Eggsy took solace in the arm that came around his shoulders, holding him close to the body he’s walked beside, went through life with, and shared every memory he was hanging onto for over 25 years.

They were happy years and hard ones, but Eggsy wouldn’t trade a single second of it. Even if it brought him here, seated on their porch swing with the man who has held a special place in his heart since he was 25. Even now, their boys out of the house and gone. He should be happy, be proud they’ve raised two respectful, intelligent, and responsible young men. Especially today, where the youth and the faces of tomorrow still clung to their parent’s.

Eggsy had considered that would have died down with his generation, but it had seemed to have only gotten worse as the years passed. They had tried, Merlin and Eggsy, to raise their boys proper. See that they got an education, or at the very least found a career that would last them for years to come.

“He is just 20 minutes away,” Merlin reminded his husband, sensing the despair in the air. It wasn’t hard to read Eggsy, he always wore his heart on his sleeve and emotions on his face.

He took a cleansing breath, nodding his head. “I know.” he did. Eggsy wasn’t stupid, but that didn’t change the fact that the reason his muscles ached today wasn’t from a mission, but from moving furniture into the flat their youngest had purchased with his boyfriend.

It was familiar. They had done the same for Benjamin when he went to uni, and they had never been prouder of their oldest - who had just finished his 4th year of medical school and 2 more to go.

Merlin observed the way Eggsy’s brow was pulled close together and down in the frown he wore. He placed his half-finished tea on the ledge of their enclosed porch, and touched the V between his eyebrows. It softened some when Eggsy smiled, it was small and not at all like the sunny cheery one his husband often wore.

“Ye hold on too tightly,” he murmured.

That wasn’t to say that Merlin didn’t miss it, miss his boys home. But he knew they needed to grow, to experience life on their own and make their own paths in the world. Eggsy hummed thoughtfully beside him in response.

“So you’ve told me before,” Eggsy said, but he’s smiling as he does. “It’s just weird.” he scrunched his face up. “They don’t prepare you for this.” and to be fair, they don’t prepare you for anything when you have kids.

In a way, Merlin and Eggsy had had more classes and training, than most new parents, when they went through adoption. It didn’t matter though, they were still ill-prepared when they had brought a 4-month-old Benjamin home.

“They dinnae prepare us for a lot of things,” Merlin reminded him lightly. Eggsy laughed, it was a far away sound.

“Remember when we brought Benjy home?” a nickname they had given their oldest just short of a month after adopting him.

Merlin tightened his hold around Eggsy, placing a soft kiss to his temple and leaning his head against his. “How could I forget?”

 

_“They do sleep eventually, right?” Eggsy asked desperately, and he had thought being 4 months the baby would be sleeping through the night. But no such luck for him and Merlin. He watched as Merlin paced the nursery with a crying little boy. His tiny face streaked with tears, eyes scrunched shut as he continued to cry out._

_It was 2 in the morning and neither of them had been able to sleep longer than 30-minute intervals. And, okay, part of that had to do with their nerves and making sure Benjamin was still breathing. The anxiety he felt once they had brought their new son home was astounding, Eggsy never knew a feeling like this._

_“Aye,” Merlin answered and hoped their son would sleep._

_Benjamin wailed on for the better part of the early morning. Merlin and Eggsy both taking turns with him to walk around. Eggsy had even started to sing like he used to when Daisy was a baby. There were long nights then too, because Dean couldn’t be bothered and his mum was so strung out at the time she was useless._

_As he made his third lap up their small hallway, Eggsy had a thought. “Babe,” he said, plead._

_Merlin jolted up from the rocker, eyes barely open. “Is he alright?” he asked alarmed. Eggsy’s tone was a little strained._

_“He’s fine,” Eggsy assured, whispering as Benjamin was beginning to doze off. “I think he has colic.” he continued to whisper, placing the sleeping baby in his crib and tiptoeing out as to not disturb him._

_“Colic?” Merlin asked once they were safely outside of earshot. “How do ye know?”_

_“Daisy had it as a baby,” Eggsy explained as they made their way into their bedroom. They both flopped on the mattress face first, not even bothering to cover themselves. “This could go on for ages,” Eggsy whined, voice muffled into the pillow._

_Merlin reached a hand out to pat, in what he thought was reassuring, Eggsy’s arm before they both drifted off._

 

Eggsy laughed, wiping away the tears that had fallen from his laughter. “I didn’t think that boy would ever sleep through the night,” he said, chuckling still.

They got quiet. It was a comfortable silence, one they were familiar with when the boys would be gone for a night and it was just them. The evening moving on and the sun was lower now, but not too low that they didn’t have a fair amount of daylight.

He melted against Merlin’s side and could easily fall asleep right here. Eggsy giggled softly with the thought, so many times they’d try to get their boys to nap and that was a fight. There was a mournful sigh that left his lips, he still missed that. Even all of the fights, arguments, little laughs and squee’s that came with raising small children.

“Reliving more moments from their childhood?” Merlin wondered, he didn’t need Eggsy to answer, he knew what his husband would say. A thumb stroked over his shoulder, the cool cotton of Eggsy’s vest welcome against his palm. “There will be wee ones around again,” he promised.

As of yet, both of their boys had expressed an interest in fatherhood. It would be a little longer for Benjy than Samuel.

“It’s not the same,” Eggsy murmured, voice soft and heavy with the need for a nap. He smiled into the crook of Merlin’s neck. There was the whisper of a kiss to his temple.

“Aye, ye are right. But I’ve heard grandchildren are an even greater joy than yer own. Because we can give them back.” Merlin perked up a bit, Eggsy shook with laughter against him.

As he sank into sleep, Eggsy heard Merlin begin to hum a tune he has sang to their sons often.

 

_“No!” Benjy ran up the hall, arse naked and into their bedroom._

_Eggsy wasn’t going to chase him, his little legs were still not as quick as Eggsy. He had successfully gotten Samuel down for a nap. The 1-year-old had slept far better than his brother ever had. He sighed heavily when all he could hear was the small giggle that came from under the bed, little feet visible just below the bed skirt. And Eggsy began to wonder why he had elected himself to stay home with the boys, while Merlin worked at Kingsman._

_The truth was, he hadn’t had any work to do at the Estate and Eggsy was free to be with their sons. But their 3-year-old was trying his patience, and he needed a nap. Both kids had gotten up at 6 am and Eggsy wanted to tell them that someday they’d wish they had slept in and taken the naps that fathers insisted on. Because otherwise if little boys didn’t nap, Eggsy would end up with a very grouchy, and stroppy child...who was still under the bed._

_“Benjamin,” Eggsy said sternly. Another giggle and a little no could be heard, before the feet Eggsy could see had disappeared completely. He silently prayed for strength._

_If Benjamin didn’t sleep soon it’d be too late and Eggsy didn’t want that. The 3-year-old would be overtired and try to sleep shortly after dinner and that would breed another 6 am wake up tomorrow._

_Eggsy contemplated getting under there and pulling him out, but if his son was in the middle of the king size bed he wouldn’t be able to reach him. So, Eggsy sat on the mattress before he fell back and closed his eyes. He was far too tired to fight with him. Benjy had proven to be just as stubborn a child as Eggsy was, at least according to his mum._

_“Why don’t you come lay with Daddy?” Eggsy asked instead._

_They didn’t usually indulge in allowing the kids to sleep with them, but it was just a nap and Eggsy was exhausted._

_He smiled hearing the little scuffle of a small body coming out and climbing up. Eggsy felt the weight of his son next to him, without having to open his eyes he reached out and scooped Benjamin close._

_They stayed there for a moment_ , _before Eggsy forced himself up to place pants and a vest on his son. Who only gave a few protests during the process. Eggsy got into the bed properly, Benjy crawled under the sheet with him._

_“Not tired,” Benjy insisted. Even as he yawned loudly and curled closer into Eggsy’s arms._

_Eggsy leaned in to place a soft kiss to the crown of Benjy’s wavy blond hair. “I know, buddy.” he agreed. His tone low and soothing as he hummed a song his dad used to sing to him as a boy, and even years later when Eggsy finally adopted the boys with Merlin he still remembered it._

_It wasn’t anything particularly spectacular or written for lulling children to sleep, but it had been his parent’s song. He was just at the last verse, of Addicted to Love by Robert Palmer, when Benjy was completely out and snoring._

_The last thing he remembered was being kissed awake, hazel eyes filled with humor when Eggsy woke fully. He noted a disheveled looking Samuel in Merlin’s arms, his cheeks flushed from sleep and brown eyes still hazy from his slumber._

_“Morning sleeping beauty,” Merlin murmured settling in on the free side of Eggsy, Samuel leaving his grasp to crawl onto his daddy’s chest. He watched as the, now_ three, _loves of his life cuddle close. Benjy still out and Eggsy was just barely awake, but enough so to stroke a hand mindlessly along Samuel’s back._

 

Much like in his dream, Eggsy was woken by tender, velvety lips against his. There was a smile that formed against his and Eggsy returned the gesture happily.

“Moving Samuel has me knackered,” he admitted around a yawn. “Surprised you aren’t tired.” Eggsy peaked to see Merlin staring out the window, a far about look etched his features. “What is it?” he wondered.

There was a tiny smile, just the smallest lift to his cheek that deepened the wrinkles there. “Ye were talking in yer sleep.” he watched the sun shimmer through the trees as he spoke. “Were ye dreaming about napping with the kids, while ye napped?”

If he knew his husband any, the way Eggsy shifted beside him was a telltale sign that his husband would be blushing. And when he peered down all Merlin could see was the slightest shade of pink, which colored Eggsy’s cheek that was lifted into a bashful grin.

“Come on,” Merlin said, he took hold of Eggsy’s hand and hefted him up to stand beside him. Eggsy groaned in protest all the while, but followed he did. “There is leftover Chinese calling our name.” Merlin enjoyed the way Eggsy leaned into his side, as they walked hand in hand to their kitchen.

*

“I’ve got it.” Eggsy waved Merlin’s hands away from the plates and collected them to be washed.

He could feel the heat of Merlin’s stare on his back and despite being married for 25 years, Eggsy still blushed a little at the thought. Years had passed and still, he found Merlin the most gorgeous man he had ever set eyes on. Eggsy supposed it was due to growing older together, even as Merlin grew older than he. But he didn’t have a mind to be bothered with the logistics, because Merlin was still there and they were still amiable enough.

“We could watch the sunset, perhaps look at the stars for a bit,” Eggsy offered, his forearms deep in the soapy water. He gave his hips a shimmy with the weight of Merlin behind him, strong hands - but not nearly as strong as they once were - came around his waist to hold him close.

This was always a favorite place to be. Secure in the grasp of the person he trusted with his life, his heart, his soul. Eggsy titled his head to the side, allowing Merlin access to trail warm, featherlight kisses down his neck. When they were younger there’d probably be sex, but now it was less about the physical connection that lovemaking brought. It was more about the feelings that pulsed between them.

“That does sound lovely,” Merlin agreed, voice husky with a yearning that’s never left when concerning Eggsy.

If he were feeling up to it, he could easily pop a pill to ensure he was up for the performance of sex. But he wasn’t, he just craved to watch the sun go down and see the moon with this incredible being in his hold.

Merlin’s lips brushed briefly with Eggsy’s, before turning to gather a bottle of Pinot Noir out of the wine fridge and two glasses to fill. They occasionally had a glass or two. It had been something they had started, almost like a tradition, when one of the boys tried their patience. They even indulged when it came to an increasingly emotional day concerning either of their jobs or the kids. And tonight, Merlin gathered, his husband could use it.

That wasn’t to say he wasn’t feeling the loss of his children, Merlin did. But he was always better at handling his emotions rather than his husband, Eggsy would joke and say it was his Scottish heritage. Merlin thought it could be, or could have a great deal to do with having to cope with the deaths of agents when guiding missions that went south. He was fortunate enough that it didn’t happen as often as people thought, Merlin didn’t know he’d last as long as he had in the agency if it were a regular occurrence.

“Meet me on the porch.” It wasn’t a question, as he gave Eggsy another peck on the lips and departed to their earlier resting place.

Eggsy finished all of the dishes, not that there were many, and met his husband on the swing. An air of nostalgia filled his husband, Eggsy noted, as he took a seat beside Merlin. As he was handed the glass of red wine, Eggsy knew why. So many other late evenings were spent like this and well into the night most times.

They’d sit together contemplating where they had gone wrong. How Benjy had stolen Eggsy’s car and managed to only get a minor scuff on it in an accident. Eggsy was sure his son shaved 20 years off of his life, and Merlin’s. Or the time Samuel ditched school, he had come home without a thought and was very surprised to find Merlin there as well. Eggsy would never forget those days. His sons were the cause for half of his grey hair, after all.

“Been a while since we’ve done this,” Eggsy mentioned, breaking the silence that had fallen over them like an old, soft blanket. One that was not unfamiliar and provided comfort. He took the first sip and sighed. This was one of his favorites, and the fact that his husband had picked it specifically for him did not go unnoticed.

The breeze that billowed through the open windows was chillier than just an hour ago. Eggsy felt the rise of goosebumps on his arms, and if he was reacting this way he knew Merlin would be cooler. He stood, ignoring the questioning glance Merlin passed him, and gathered the blanket that had been a gift one fathers day.

It was fleece and warm and soft. Benjamin’s and Samuel’s faces splayed across it in blocked sections. There were some of the animal’s they had had over the years. JB the first and second, along with Merlin’s cat Misha that had passed a decade ago. It was one of their favorites. Eggsy settled back into his spot, the blanket over their laps, as he remembered that day.

 

_“Do ye hear that?” Merlin inquired, his face buried in the crook of his elbow. Eggsy snored softly beside him, still unaware of the little giggles just outside of their room. He noted the other voice, it was a woman and clearly Michelle’s along with Daisy as well._

_They had given her access to their home. Ever since they had adopted Benjamin and then Samuel, they figured someone else should have a key to their house aside from Harry._

_Eggsy whined in response to the finger that poked his side. He had only gotten in 12 hours ago and the boys had been so eager to see him, that no one had gone to bed till well past midnight. They never allowed them to stay up so late, especially at their ages. Samuel had just turned 7 and Benjamin was a whole 9 years old. They were growing too fast._

_“No,” Eggsy murmured. “Too early,” he complained. Merlin’s laughter was low and thick with sleep. Eggsy picked his head up, one eye squinted open to see his husband grinning like a loon. He was about to press further when he detected what Merlin had been whispering about._

_Benjamin shushed his brother loudly, even as Samuel blew a raspberry at him; Eggsy’s grin began to match Merlin’s. He knew what day it was and his heart grew with love for his boys. Of course, they’d try to surprise them on father’s day. Still, the fact remained it was just after 7 in the morning and Eggsy had hoped the two would have slept a little longer. Or at the very least, waited until he had a few more hours outside the 4 he had gotten._

_Their sons were not the only ones who missed Eggsy and Merlin showed him how much after the boys were in bed._

_“Pretend to be asleep,” Eggsy instructed and tried to seem like he was still fast asleep. He felt the bed shift with, what he was sure to be, Merlin_ following _suit._

_The door creaked open letting in a stream of light from the hall and into the room. It cast in Eggsy’s eyes and it took everything in him to keep them closed. There was the soft patter of bare feet hitting the hardwoods. The smell of bacon, cinnamon, eggs, and maple syrup quickly filled the space and Eggsy’s stomach growled loudly._

_“Daddy,” Samuel whispered, still using daddy instead of dad, poking Eggsy’s shoulder._

_Merlin got Benjy beside him. He didn’t poke or prod at Merlin, just gently sat beside his father and curled in. Their oldest had such a soft spot for his dad and Eggsy couldn’t even be bothered to mind. He loved to watch them together. Both spoke science like it was their native language, while Eggsy and Samuel tinkered with cars and partook in athletics._

_“Morning.” Eggsy turned to see kind brown eyes staring back at him. He reached up to sweep the fallen dark brown hair from his son’s forehead. He needed a haircut, Eggsy thought to himself._

_“We made you breakfast,” Samuel said eagerly, his smile bright and showcased the four front teeth he had missing. Two on the bottom and two up top. This was the exact cause for his lisp as he said his S’s. “Happy father’s day.” he wished them both, as Benjy left the bed to get the tray their grandmum held in the doorway._

_“Hi, mum.” Eggsy waved to his mother, who gave a soft smile and waved to both of them before retreating._

_“This looks lovely,” Merlin approved, while their son settled the food in the middle of him and Eggsy._

_Benjy sat at the end of the bed, which his little brother joined after giving both of his father's a kiss, with a box in his hands._

_“We had help from grandmum,” he assured them, as they tucked in. “And we had our own,” he added, already sensing one of them about to ask._

_The spread was wonderful, french toast, bacon, scrambled eggs, and fruit placed onto two plates along with two cups of tea with it. They both tucked in and it was even better than it smelled._

_Eggsy was the first to finish, his stomach had evidently been empty. He eyed the gift his son still held and wondered what it could have been._

_Once Merlin was finished, both of their boys collected the dirty dishes and came back to hand them the box Benjy had been holding._

_“Happy father’s day,” Benjy had said._

_Neither one of them were expecting anything. Their kids still too young to be able to cook themselves and sure as hell were not able to afford presents. And that was the least of their worries. Their sons were gifts enough to Merlin and Eggsy._

_“Oh,” Merlin sighed, as he and Eggsy lifted out the blanket._

_Their sons' faces littered the fabric. It held them at various stages of their lives. From the time they were wee babes to just a few months ago. It was gorgeous._

_Eggsy’s nose and eyes stung, as he smoothed a palm over a photo of Benjy and Samuel covered in dirt together in the garden. Benjy was 4 and Samuel was 2. And he still saw them as little babies._

_“Thank you,” Eggsy whispered, not able to manage more than that. His throat was tight with emotion. “This is beautiful,” he added. Merlin sat beside him speechless, and that was a hard thing to accomplish._

_Despite the groans their eldest gave, Eggsy and Merlin ditched the blanket to pull them into a crushing embrace. They ignored both of their complaints, as Merlin and Eggsy bestowed kisses of gratitude to their faces. Even as Benjy insisted he was too old._

_No. They’d never be too old for love from their fathers._

 

“It was a great gift,” Merlin said suddenly.

The way Eggsy ran his hand over the blanket several times was indication enough, that his husband was reliving that day. He noticed the redness that had formed at the tip of Eggsy’s nose, which was a giveaway that his husband was close to tears.

“Eggsy,” Merlin breathed. “They weren’t going to stay little forever,” he mentioned quietly. Eggsy nodded his head, even as a single tear slid down his cheek. He had known they’d feel empty nest, but he hadn’t prepared it would have affected Eggsy so much.

Eggsy lifted his gaze from the photo of their babies, and they were clearly babies there. Benjy had to have been 2 or 2 ½ and Samuel couldn’t have been older than 5 months. He forced himself to look straight ahead.

The sky had turned a striking variety of colors. As high as he could see, the sky was darker. Almost a blue-black and as your eyes shifted down it morphed into bright pinks, oranges, reds, and led down to where the sun was on the horizon.

“We did good, yeah?” he peeled his marveling eyes away enough to meet an equally watery set of hazel ones. Eggsy laughed. It was wet and breathy, as he wiped away a few more tears, and he thought he was being a fool for getting so worked up.

“That we did.” Merlin nodded his head, pulling Eggsy flush to his side, before giving him a firm kiss.

It carried love, assurance, and support for his husband. Merlin placed another tender kiss to Eggsy’s warm, luscious lips before he returned to watch the day turn into night. It was his favorite part of the day and soon enough the moon was high shining brightly, illuminating their garden. Stars flecked the dark sky and he thought it to be beautiful. He swept his eyes over the man who sat beside him.

Eggsy’s smile was small but pleasant, a contented air surrounded him, and Merlin gathered there were more beautiful things in the world. And he was lucky enough to have married Eggsy, who was by far the most beautiful thing he had seen.

Merlin settled his head against Eggsy’s with a soft sigh. “We did good,” Merlin repeated, as Eggsy entwined their fingers together.

“Yeah,” Eggsy agreed. “And we did it together,” he added, feeling the lift of Merlin’s cheek against his head.


End file.
